Depression creeping up on me?

I can feel that depression is kreeping up on me. I am withdrawing from all friends and family and I want to be alone. I dont want any company and I dont want to speak to anyone on the phone. Instead I want to just sit at home alone and brood about all the negative things that have happened to me. How must prevent a total onslaught of the 'black dog'?





I am constantly being attacked by my husband, telling me how useless I am. In his eyes I cannot do anything right. Yet, my house is clean, he gets fantastic food every night. I am just not in the mood to entertain his ideals and problems. And I am not in the mood to entertain him sexually either.





I am looking at myself through his eyes, and there I fail miserabally. He is always knocking me.

Depression creeping up on me?
Dear 'Friend' (and I call you that for a reason)





I have been suffering from depression for a very long time myself. I have been going through the same problems that you have.





I was in a marriage where my husband told me what I could and could not do and even sometimes told me what I was and was not capable of. He was very controlling. He recieved dinner on the table every day when he came home. His laundry was done most of the time and that was never good enough for him. Even I put up with him cheating on me for years. I did this because I had children and didn't know where to turn.





Now I have divorced him 6,000 dollars later and lost my children because I left him and he had more money to fight in court than I did. The courts did not side with me as they normally would in the case of 'women'. Even though he admitted to picking up hookers in court he still got custody of the children.





Now 15 years later he has the house, the cars, the children and I have nothing. I don't even have an education.





Removing myself from the situation was the best thing that ever happened to me. My stress is fifty percent less. My depression is 50 percent less.





Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from situations that harm us if only to save our own selves.





Stop complaining to 'family members' about your situation until you are ready to do something about it. Be smart. You are obviously smart otherwise you wouldn't 'know' that you are going through this situation right now.





Remove yourself from the harm that you are in. It is only good for your mental health.


You are beautiful.
Reply:I'm no expert but if your lover is not treating you right then you should LEAVE him. If you do otherwise then that's on you...it sounds like he could be mentally abusing you.





LEAVE HIM, I say.
Reply:do one fantastic thing for yourself and see what response you get ...... mess up the whole house and give him beans on toast for tea.... stop trying to be purfect its very hard to do .... if nothing else it might just make you laff xxxxx
Reply:Sorry it seems your husband is the problem he is knocking your self confidence.If you have some place to go then get out before he totally destroys you.Good Luck
Reply:Call your best friend and go on a long vacation together. Make it all about you and your friendship. When you get home see how you feel. Is he really worth all that pain.
Reply:So why are you with him?





My ex husband was the same and then one day I thought about it....... I would be better off without him!





If your that bad why is he staying with you.... I'll tell you why... He knows how good you are and that he could never get anyone better than you. And by keeping you down he gets everything HIS own way and your always wanting to please him, BUT when was the last time HE pleased you?





Come on get your head together, before you met him what did you want to do? What kind of person were you? What's stopping you from being that person now?





Give your friend and family a call I bet they would be to hear from you, and most importantly give the old YOU a call.





Good Luck XxX
Reply:yes you are suffering from depression. caused by your husband. if i were you i would do a runner.go some where you can get your head to-gether friends or relatives just up and go. dont let him get to you.tell to go get stuffed.
Reply:GET OUT NOW!!!! I am telling you that if you don't get out you will regret it later. He has already began to break you down and if you stay you are allowing him to continue and by the end of it you will spend years trying to rebuild yourself. You aren't worthless, but as long as he feels he can make you feel that way he feels you are under his control. You are obviously a bright, articulate, and spirited individual. (Just by your writing skills). So do you really need a man like that? NO! you don't. Go out with your friends, even if you don't feel up to it and if he doesn't like it. Tough! Life is to short to sit around allowing others to ruin it for you. If you want YOUR life ruined its yours to ruin not someone elses.





GOOD LUCK!
Reply:Oh dear it doesn't sound like your having a great time at the moment, well firstly i am not a doctor or professional in this area i can only tell you as i see it and my own experiences.





So first things first it sounds like it is surrounding your husband, you might want to start by talking with him about why he attacks you all of the time? Maybe he is feeling the same? If you can't get any joy try taking some time out away from everyone and everything - your normal day to day life (not so easy i know). It's amazing how much a week away from the norm can change your outlook on life and what is eating away at you.





One thing i think you definatly need to do is have some you time, it's fine doing things for everyone else but if you don't forfill your needs whats the point? One thing that really helps me to start with is a nice deep hot bath with some smellies in. Stick on some music and some candles it really helps (make sure you have an empty house it can be distracting and won't work if others need the loo).





Write a list of all the things that are bugging you and work through them. Nothing is too big to solve.





Try chatting to your GP they can put you in touch with groups and people that can help.





Try not to get too down life is fun and you are special, if others around you don't appreciate you then don't be around them. Live life for you (and your kids if you have them) don't ever let anyone tell you you are worthless normally they are hitting out because they are not happy with themself and want to hurt others.





I hope you manage to get it sorted just don't attempt to deal with it all at the same time or you'll crack work through each problem one by one and you'll get there. The joy of finished and solving one problem will give you the courage and motivation to deal with the next.





Good Luck, i hope you get things how you want them to be! x
Reply:Its because he is knocking you that you feel this way. I think if you made some little changes, and I mean force yourself to, then became vibrant and succesful, popular even with others, he would soon want you. Then you may have the confidence to decide if this is the relationship you want. There is more to life than a clean house and cooking for him. No wonder you dont want sex. He sounds too controlling, neither would I. Try a job? Meet some other women who can boost up your confidence. See the GP if you think tablets could help with the depression-it can help believe me. Hope things improve for you.
Reply:Here here. That sounds like one relationship you'd be better off without.
Reply:you poor thing ,its bad enough having depression without being put down all the time,Ive been there done it got the tee shirt with my ex husband and I know you wont listen to my advice but unless your living in a calm environment and you've got peace of mind then your never going to get over this,hes a big part of your problem and mental abuse is worse than physical ,put yourself first and rethink your marital status,you only live once.
Reply:Your selfesteem is being put to the test. I'm sorry for you.


and you are too fearfull to free yourself out of this situation. Tough ****!


help can be obtained through:


http://www.alfonsven.com





basicly you will demolish and fragment yourself more and more if you allow him to do this


STOP him to create an unsafe situation over and over again. He is blackmailing you with his anger.


Do not feed him spicy food, and make him stop drinking.


Seek a good relationship therapist for the both of you because your dynamics are feukcd up. Get a 28 days cure form Alfons to make you stronger and less fearfull!
Reply:I am in the same boat.





I have Bipolar, and at times shut my self off, the House can get a bit neglected by times. I would do probably less than you. I am not interested in a sex life either. My Husband gets angry and bitter because of the Sex bit, id say. And waits to pounce on any mistakes I make. I printed off a load of information on Bipolar from the Internet, and told him to go away off and read it. He quickly changed himself and his attitude when he learned I have a Disorder, which controlled my Moods. Could you have something similar to Bipolar, if your feelings are that way inclined you could use that as the reason for your Behaviour. Id say your Husband doesnt understand you together with hes not getting any and then taking it out on you, as they do,
Reply:Your husband is the problem here. He's a bullying bastard. Have you got friends or family you can confide in? Please contact the police the very next time he hits you. Have you got children? If so, do you think it fair that they are being raised in a in violent atmosphere? Get rid of your husband, think of how much better your life would be WITHOUT fear, being shouted at and knocked about.

addis